Growing

I haven't updated for a little while now so this is going to be another catch all post.

I am learning an awful lot these days. Admittedly, that is a very new agey sort of thing to say, but all I can promise you that my inner child has been left well alone and my crystal collection remains, well, nonexistent.

I suppose what I mean is that I am learning what is important to me (versus what I think is important for me). Some things remain constant: languages continue to really capture my intellectual interest, doing improv continues to be when I feel most alive, and I continue to be driven by a desire to connect with my different roots (had a really great moment with Alexia over the weekend in a tiny cafeteria in the east village serving mainly church-going Ukrainians; the pirogies were much better than what I have had in restaurants here and I was very happy to use the Ukrainian I knew). I have reaffirmed some newer things as well, such as the fact that while I value hard work and do always work as hard as I can, I am not a workaholic and do not desire to be one. I just don't think it is healthy, and seeing more and more workaholic lawyers and law students preparing for themselves for that those positions, I can only say I do not think it is healthy and takes its toll on your personal life and breadth as a person. So I continue to try and balance law school and normalcy.

I have also learned that I can't be in a relationship if I don't think it is for the long term. Though I have always been adverse to relationships when I am not in a place for very long, I mainly mean it in the sense that I am unable to stay in a relationship that is comfy when I realize I am not getting the fulfillment I need in the long run. I am a big picture person and for better worse if I know there is hard work to be done I would rather get started on it today. In terms of relationships that means I'd rather get back to searching rather than stay with what I have, but ultimately am unsatisfied by.

Other than that not sure there is much else to tell. Continue to struggle a bit with being dyslexic in a field that is extremely detail oriented and finicky. My own fault really and I don't regret it though it poses frustrating challenges at times.

Generally, I have felt rather burnt out as of later. Been thinking about running away to New Caledonia. If you consider the pile of dirty laundry in the corner a suitcase you could say I have a suitcase packed and I am ready to go at any moment.

Notes:
- The subway continues to be the best free show in the entire city with Crazy people saying 'hi' and flipping out remain remarkably similar. I am thinking of a scene in Queens when a woman on the platform saw a guy she knew in a subway car. As the doors were closing she dove through blocking them. She didn't get in the train (she just stayed stuck between the doors), but proceeded to have a weird discussion with the guy she knew on the subway in which both tried to pass the buck of calling the other. It ended with the woman yelling "I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna find you!" See, she wasn't really crazy but seemed like she could break you that's what made it scary.
- I am on an ethnic neighborhoods/locals kick which I am quite enjoying. In addition to my further adventures in Little Ukraine, it has involved the Czech beer garden in Astoria (amazing kielbasa!), a great Indian restaurant in Jackson Heights, and a number of rather authentic Belgian and German beer gardens. Next on the list: Little Poland, Irish part of Queens, and the Central Asian part of Queens.
- Cranes. I am supposed to be watching for them now according to my mother.
- Can China please be nice to Tibet? Okay, maybe this is a hippie post. Look it took me a long time to overcome my dislike of Richard Gear and get behind Tibet, but I did, and well I like the Dali Lama and am none too fond of China's attacks on Tibetan language and culture.
- I continue to be impressed by cute female friends ability to smile and get free stuff. Six foot tall (randomly bearded) men can be cute too right? Right? No, it's okay I know people would only give me free stuff if they thought I was about to rob them.
- I really want to see Candide at City Opera next month. Interested?
-Question: guys in your early 20s, do you get called 'sir' a lot? I do. Is it my fake-Britishness or just the scariness factor?
-The computer monitors in the L train almost make me think I am in a European metro/U-Bahn. Almost.
-Oh, Spitzer, I nearly forgot. Wow, right? These are the kinds of people who perfect scores on the LSAT. . .