Augusto Pinochet
An elegy to Pinochet, to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson"
By special Barbaross contributor Edward
By special Barbaross contributor Edward
And here's to you, General Pinochet,
Jesus loves the army, don't you know,
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
God bless you, please General Pinochet,
Helping Heaven reward those who pray,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
We'd like to help one of our best neighbors to the south,
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Three years of socialism clearly did you wrong,
Take a look at Argentina, they need someone strong.
Take it away, General Pinochet,
Go take over Chile in a coup,
Woo-woo-woo.
Here's planes and bombs, General Pinochet,
Get rid of that Marxist Allende,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
Executing thousands of exiles isn't fun,
A dictatorship is not a cupcake,
What use is a free press when you're on the run?
Take an order, thirty-thousand need torture.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, General Pinochet,
Milton Friedman loves you, don't you know?
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
God bless the Queen, General Pinochet,
Keep the Falklands safe for the UK,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
Seventeen years, then you learned that nothing gold can last,
You need a European vacation.
Ignore the arrest warrants issued for your kin,
Is that the way your nation thanks you nowadays?
Where did you go, Señor Augusto,
A lonely tribunal waits for you,
Woo-woo-woo.
Age ninety-one, you recanted some,
Then a heart attack took you away,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
Jesus loves the army, don't you know,
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
God bless you, please General Pinochet,
Helping Heaven reward those who pray,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
We'd like to help one of our best neighbors to the south,
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Three years of socialism clearly did you wrong,
Take a look at Argentina, they need someone strong.
Take it away, General Pinochet,
Go take over Chile in a coup,
Woo-woo-woo.
Here's planes and bombs, General Pinochet,
Get rid of that Marxist Allende,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
Executing thousands of exiles isn't fun,
A dictatorship is not a cupcake,
What use is a free press when you're on the run?
Take an order, thirty-thousand need torture.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, General Pinochet,
Milton Friedman loves you, don't you know?
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
God bless the Queen, General Pinochet,
Keep the Falklands safe for the UK,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
Seventeen years, then you learned that nothing gold can last,
You need a European vacation.
Ignore the arrest warrants issued for your kin,
Is that the way your nation thanks you nowadays?
Where did you go, Señor Augusto,
A lonely tribunal waits for you,
Woo-woo-woo.
Age ninety-one, you recanted some,
Then a heart attack took you away,
Hey-hey-hey,
Yoo-ess-ay.
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