Birsen

A big part of my trip to Istanbul was to say goodbye to Birsen (above), a family friend who died this year. For me it is a bit weird just to call her a family friend because although she wasn't a blood relative, she was the closest of family (i.e. family friend just doesn't seem nearly strong enough). I really loved Birsen and still do. Though I know she has passed, I still feel the need to talk of my love for her in the present, if only because every time I think about her I am still filled with love.

Birsen lived a pretty amazing life. She was born to a Turkish family in a small village in Bulgaria. Her family owned a broom factory, but lost everything after the war when the communists took over. An interesting early example of how much people liked Birsen comes from her childhood. In the village Birsen's mother had an older sister who was married, but had been unable to have any children. Birsen's mom agreed to let her sister raise Birsen (though they still saw each other everyday since it was a small village) so as to give her a child to rear. That sister then ended up having a son and Birsen's mother then asked her sister to give Birsen back. Birsen, however, had won her heart and despite having a son, she wouldn't give Birsen up.

In any case, in the 50s Birsen's family was able to emigrate and go to Istanbul. That is pretty rare, a lot of Bulgarian Turks immigrated to Turkey in the 70s, but in the 50s it was pretty much unheard of with Bulgaria being in heyday of its communist repression. Anyway, they managed and made it out, though of course they had nothing. The whole family, however, stuck together, living in a poor section of Istanbul, but all working together to improve things for the whole family. The opportunities abroad, however, were much better and Birsen through luck and connections was able to get a visa to go and work in the US (later I would ask Brisen why she went to the US when all the other Turks were going to Germany and she just said that didn't want to do what everyone else was doing and wanted something different).

After working first for one other family, Birsen then ended up working for my mother's family out on on Long Island. She lived with my mom's family for twenty years. Birsen cooked and cleaned, but she was smart, got American citizenship, and laid the framework for her later import/export business (at the time buying jeans in bulk at cheap American prices, and then taking them back with her to sell in Turkey). Birsen and my grandmother would cook Italian, Ukrainian, and Turkish dishes (I am pretty jealousy of the culinary world my mother grew up in), and Birsen became became part of the family as she was there and took part in all the major events of my mom's family (graduations, weddings, retirements). In that time Birsen also learned to speak English like a Brooklynite, though ironically not from my Brooklynite Grandfather.

After that time, Birsen got married and went back to live in Turkey, having saved enough money to live comfortably and start her business of importing bath and kitchen items for the luxury department stores of Istanbul. She came back to visit fequently, and always seemed to be there for the major events like my high school graduation. A lot of what I know about Birsen's time with my mother's family is from stories (I was not yet in existance at the time), but one of the most wonderful memories I have of her is when I went to visit her five years ago in Istanbul. She was a horrible tour guide (she had no interest in the old stuff) and would send me off to do things on trips, but she taught me a lot about Turkey and almost killed me with her overly generous if deliscious Turkish breakfasts. Bisren was really Turkey for me, something that made it very important for me to go back after she had passed so I would have some new memories in Istanbul (fortunately with members of Birsen's family).

A few years later Birsen was diagnosed with breast cancer and started coming to visit, as my mom coordinated her doctor's visits. Though conditions weren't the best, it was nice to have her around as she would always laugh and joke (giving my father a run for his money, something he needs), while at the same time taking a genuine interest and pride in what my brother and I were doing (she was always very supportive of my going to Kazakhstan and wanted to visit me). It was really in this time that Birsen became like a second mother to me.

Early this year Birsen passed and it hit me pretty hard. She had such tremendous energy and really fought to the end and it was somehow impossible for me to imagine that her energy was gone. It was made all the harder by the fact that when she passed I was here in Vienna, without anyway who really understood how wonderful she was. It was great to then be able to go to Turkey and spend time with Birsen's niece Evren, and talk about Birsen and all her quirks.

While I was in Turkey I had wanted to visit Birsen's grave. I wasn't able to because she had been burried on a small family plot near where her family had lived when they first came to Turkey and the whole area is being redeveloped (read: knocked down, except for the graveyard of course). The fact that the place where Birsen had spent her formative years doesn't exist anymore somehow seemed appropriate to me. Birsen had been an incredible woman. She was an independent woman who came from a society that doesn't encourage women to be independent, a successful immigrant in a country where natives have a hard enough time making ends meet, and person who despite growing up in great hardship was full of humor and positive energy. They don't make them like her anymore. I suppose that is why it seemed appropriate to me that the place where she had spent her formative years doesn't exist anymore either. It was a mold meant to be used only once.

You were one of a kind Birsen and I miss you.

Will Post Soon...

So I am not being so good about posting, but only because my two actual posts on Istanbul will be longish and I need time to write them. For now here are four of my favorite pictures from my trip:

Oh You Can't Go Back to Constantinople...

I am in Istanbul. There will be two bigger entries on Istanbul when I come back (one about my general observations, and another about the very good Turkish friend my family lost this year), but for now I can only say that Istanbul is amazing! There are the little things like the fact that I love Turkish spelling (taxi is spelt taksi, amazing!), but then also the bigger stuff like the hulking architectural remnants of the Roman and Ottoman Empires. The Bosphorus is certainly a beautiful backdrop for it all, but the most intriguing part of the city and the country are the Turkish people themselves. As a Westerner it seems almost obligatory to ask the question whether Turkey is European or Asian? The truth as far as I can see is that it is both. Just here on the street you see woman dressed just liked women in most fashionable parts of New York or Paris, or as covered as women on the streets of Tehran or Cairo. It is a complicated picture.

Oh Baby

Okay so I am trying not to get carried away and say that this is exactly what I will do with my life, but how awesome does this sound: NUCLEAR LAW! Even cooler if it's nuclear weapons law right? And it would involve Russia. I love nukes!

The Meme God!

All fear the meme god for he is a jealous god! Well it has been a few days now since the blog got screwed u, but it is all my own fault! I tried to remove the ad part of meme code I posted and the meme god spited me for it and sent my blog into a dark age. Wow for me and for barbarossa, had we not, but not just respected the the meme god.

I am in the mood for Turkey, I think I'll go to Turkey tomorrow.

My mom went to Brooklyn Law today, she liked it. Apparently most of the building are pretty ugly from the inside, but nicely renovated inside. Already I am planing ways to incorporate Russia and the former Soviet Union into every part of my legal studies (i.e. making it like any other part of life).

Also here is a song from eurovision that I am completely addicted to:

Human Rights

Sometimes I have an entry with a purpose and I have a clear idea of what I want to say, this isn't one of those, feel free to skim (all three of you out there). I have my final for my class on human rights tomorrow. I took the class because I don't really believe in human rights, and well people are talking about them all the time and I thought I should figure out what all the fuss was about. I don't mean I didn't believe in them as in I was against them (i.e. yeah torture), just for me I only though of human rights as natural rights (i.e. rights everyone was born with and that have to be respected). I though they were a good idea, just also always thought, 'hey guys, look around, I think they forget to pass out the human rights in the rather large chunk of the planet." So then I learned in class that via UN conventions there are some universal legal human rights. Good to know and also amusing since when it comes to international law states both try to play up whatever declaration to the nth degree (i.e. look! we're passing the 'make the world an amazing place decree,' man, the world is going to be so much more amazing after that thing is passed), and then simultaneously try to limit the extent it can be applied as much as possible (i.e. no, no, we don't need a monitoring mechanism for the anti-torture convention, we'll all just look out for our own people. What that thing over there? No its not a wrack...no...its a high chair with straps for my good friend Mr. prisoner...um...Bob, yes his name is Bob). Also it is fun because whenever you learn international law it is like 'the entire world does things this way, except for the US, which clothes its eyes and yells loudly whenever the convention is mentioned.' Morale: we have human rights, they were just put in a very safe place and nobody remembers where that place is.

Too Much

I had seven hours of human rights class today and am completely exhausted. The material was interesting (we were looking at the former Yugoslavia), but we started at 9 and went till 6. It was just way too long, certainly too long to stay focused. The Diplomatic Academy continues to irritate me as their reserve system has no way of making sure reserve books are returned (i.e. not allowing you to do the reading), and because they scheduled an extra class for one of my courses on a day I won't be here. I have been exercising a lot the past week, and despite the added energy it is supposed to bring me, I have been completely exhausted Grumble. Remarkably, with my plans for next year in place I am just very content and calm. I am really hoping it last for a while (if the lovely weather we had a few weeks ago makes a return chances are likely it will). Things aren't perfect, but I am doing well and well it is pretty nice.

Day of Victory

Yesterday was the Day of Victory (over Nazi Germany) in Russia and the other post-Soviet states. It is celebrated one day later in the former Soviet republics than in the rest of Europe because they celebrate they day on which the German surrender entered into force rather than the day it was signed. It is a weird holiday. It is perhaps most weird in its contemporary context as you have countries that have worked very hard in most ways to distance themselves from their Soviet past (from intentionally painting government buildings bright colors you never would have seen in Soviet days to renaming every Soviet associated street in town) suddenly break out the Soviet military paraphernalia to parade about. It is odd because the Day of Victory was constructed as the creation mythos of the Soviet Union, if not its trial by fire, yet Soviet Union has disappeared into nothingness, but the holiday is still going strong. Essentially you have a holiday full of military parades (in Soviet and not modern military uniforms) and fighter jets flying overhead, flaunting the grandeur and military might of the former USSR. It seems more like mourning than anything else.

I don't mean to be cynical, certainly the Soviet Union lost the most lives of any country in World War II. The destruction on the territory of the Soviet Union was horrible, and million of Soviet soldiers fought valiantly. There is much to be celebrated in that, and the Soviet Union used the holiday to arouse patriotism on a yearly basis. I am just confused as towards what significance the holiday should have today, and I am not the only one. When I was in Odessa I watched a number of news reports where they tried different ways of arguing that the holiday is important for the post-Soviet generation, and in deed, the slogan for the Day of Victory in Odessa was "Day of Victory: A Holiday for all Generations!" I think finding relevance for the holiday is very tricky today, especially as the younger generation associates the symbols of the Soviet Union less with pride or heroism, but with the cheap souvenirs you can buy at the market or you see in counter culture.

It is also interesting because in Russian you have two names for World War II, you can either call it the second World War, or you can call it the Great Fatherland War. The second was the term of choice in the Soviet Union and politically charged as a result. Yet, it is that term that gets used in the media leading up to the Day of Victory. I suppose I am just surprised by the continued commitment to Soviet view of its involvement in World War II. The Soviet Union is still seen as a liberator that valiantly defeated evil Nazi Germany. I have two problems with that: 1. Yes the Soviet Union liberated, but it then took control of the countries and did not allow free elections so how a country can be considered to have been liberated when it is granted neither political independence nor allowed to hold free elections 2. There seems to be a complete lack of acknowledgement that at the time the Soviet Union was quite happy to carve up Eastern Europe with Nazi Germany and only went to war after it was attacked. There is also the issue of how horribly the Soviet Union treated its own soldiers, I don't even mean the horrible conditions, but the killing or deporting to gulags of returned prisoners of war as if the fact that they had not be killed proved they were German spies. I do think it is worth celebrating the sacrifice of the individual soldiers, but not of the Soviet leadership which showed a complete disregard for human life and not the grandeur of the bygone Soviet state.

Portrait of a Day

Stumbled out of bed five minutes before German started.

Had to argue something or other about tourism, my head hurt, don't really remember but apparently I mixed up the future tense.

Should have showered, went back to bed instead.

Ate some cheese.

Went back to sleeping.

Ran to Russian at the university.

Argued something about bilingualism (it is important each parent only speak one language with the child).

Learned that long form Russian adjectives describe general tendencies where the short form ones describe the immediate situation.

Felt bad I wasn't one of the ones singled out for writing well (I make a lot of mistakes).

Turkish woman at the trave agency, who spoke German with a very strong Austrian accent, was really nice and told me some nice places to go outside of Istanbul. She talked on the phone a lot in Turkish, I tried to figure out what she was saying using my Kazakh, didn't get very far.

Studied human rights law.

Got back in touch with an old good friend now living in London.

Discussed satanists in my other Russian class. My Russian teacher told us she was pretty sure she found some on the subway after read the daVinci Code.

She kept calling me the boy from Odessa.

Did a random google search for a picture for this post ('day' in Russian turned up the above picture from the City Day in Sochi (official winter Olympics candidate city).

Nationalism vs. Patriotism

This entry is mainly to make me feel a little less crazy, at the very least about my use of words. My general feeling about the meaning of 'nationalism' vs. 'patriotism' is that the one has a negative connotation where the the other one has a negative connotation. Nationalist is usually used for someone who feels the need to kill lots of (innocent) people for his country, where patriot is more likely to be used for someone who ate apple pie, saved a cat from a tree, and fought for our countries valour. I mean both basically mean that you have a strong love for your country and want to do things for it right? Well, in my Russian classes and God knows why only in my Russian classes, this issue comes up a lot (as in I bring it up a lot). Basically I have been told by various teachers that the two terms are completely different (the classes were in Russian, but the words are the same as in English, just pronounced a la Boris in Rocky and Bullwinkle). I am pretty sure I am right in English (I have checked since), but in Russian since the meaning of nationality is ethnicity I guess nationalist may mean ethnic-nationalist, which wouldn't be the same thing. Funky.

Map

So here is a map of countries I have been to.

I think most people put these up on their blogs over a year ago, and in keeping with my tradition of being on the cutting edge I am putting it up now.

Admittedly it is pretty lopsided as I haven't been anywhere in Africa or Latin America. You could probably make an argument that I only like white countries or something except that still wouldn't explain why I've never been to say...Canada.

While in Europe I am still hoping to pick up Poland and Belarus before I leave.

Next year I would like to see some more of the Americas. For those who have been reading my blog from the very start it will probably come as no surprise that I really want to go to Suriname, also Canada. Also, for spring break I would really like to make it to Morocco and Algeria, any takers?

[note: I don't know why the map is all messed up on my blog and not other people's, but I don't know how to fix it so I am leaving it. The only country missing it Taiwan]

Odessa - The Return

Odessa is awesome! That being said, it has to be said it is also pretty crappy. The crapitude is mainly in terms of the roads being in bad shape, side walks being none-existent to life threatening, and there being loads of (very well behaved) stray dogs about. The thing is, I find all of that stuff really rather endearing especially as it both reminds me that I am in the former Soviet Union and reminds me of the good old times in Kazakhstan and St. Petersburg. Even for being rough around edges there are just things I love about the former Soviet Union (over say Western Europe): 1. stores are open! You don't know how I hate Europe's stores (especially supermarkets) being closed on Sundays, open for half a day on Saturday, and closed by six on weekdays, even if the 24 hour magazins lie and aren't open 24 hours in Ukraine or Russia, they are still open a whole lot later than their counterparts in say Austria 2. Soft serve ice cream for less than fifty-cents at McDonald's, it is a small thing, but oh so wonderful 3. Cyrillic and Slavic languages! I may know that when I see an 'i' in Cyrillic it isn't Russian I am looking at, but it doesn't make me any less happy 4. I like that I can pass for Slavic at the very least until I open my mouth, it makes up for the fact that nobody believes I am Italian.

So Odessa is really just pretty cool. Granted it isn't as big or as culturally rich as say St. Petersburg, but it still has a lot of cool architecture and historical significance. The fact that it is also sort of a post-Soviet Florida is sort of amusing. What is cool about Odessa is that it has a good chunk of tourism, but it is also Ukraine main port and as a result can't quite be pigeon holed as a tourist town. It is very much Russian speaking (even if McDonald's only seems to use one language per country so the menu was all in Ukrainian), but it isn't really ethnically Russian either (the natives are a mix of Jewish, Russian, Ukrainian, Romanian, Greek, Kurdish and Tatar heritage). Odessa is experiencing many of the same problems as the rest of the former Soviet Union (population drop, poverty), but at the same time there is a vibrance to it, both with the bustling new economy and the cultural venues.

I had a good time. I had a really good Russian teacher who taught me a lot about Ukrainian politics and also convinced me that I will work for the US State Department in the future. And I had Ukrainian TV! I got to watch both the Russian and Ukrainian news. The news bit was interesting since the Ukrainian news in Russian wouldn't dub the Ukrainian politicians when they spoke in Ukrainian (where the Russian language news from Russian would) and with Prime Minister who speaks Ukrainian with a very thick Russian accent I only new he hadn't been speaking Russian when I watched the Russian news later and he was dubber. Also I got to watch a Russian remake of married with children, and notice how the only channel that black Ukrainians seemed to pop up on was the music video channel. All and all a very successful trip.

Oh Baby

Alright, so last post of the month, and the last post before I leave tomorrow around 8:30ish. I headed down the mandatory Fulbright conference outside of Salzburg yesterday and then made my way back today. It was a bit tiring as it is about five hours each way, but I enjoyed the conference more than I though I would. We had a couple of great lectures and the weather was amazing. Austrian town are very quaint, but at the same time I have to admit I start to get a bit nervous small towns, if only because I come from one where there is also nothing to do and I start to feel that if I stay too long or eat the food I won't be allowed to leave (I am usually better with this stuff when I have my own car). The conference is mainly for the Austrians going to the states, but it was fun as they are a pretty interesting bunch. They have a bit of a rougher deal than we do. Fulbright has a number of different programs, but most are doing research projects and receive money towards their living expenses (in Austria the Fulbrighters usually have to teach English in Austrian schools so it is a bit of a bumb deal). Anyway, the Austrians going to the US are going to the degree programs, except the Fulbright commission neither gets them into schools nor pays for their tuition (they pay for about half). So the Austrians have to apply a year and a half before they want to go, see if the get the scholarship, see if they get into a school they want, and then see if that school offers them enough money for them to be able to go. I know this pretty much the same thing Americans go through, I just think that the way it works out because for the Americans if we get in we can go, for those going to the US getting into the program it is only the beginning.

Nichtlustig

Cow #1: Here it says Piranhas can eat a whole cow in five minutes.
Cow #2: Hmmm...'a cow' a you say?

harrumph

The Ukrainian foreign minister came to school today.

He didn't really answer my question.

He wouldn't let me get a picture with him

Boo!

:(

Одесса!

I am going to Odessa and I am so excited! It will be my first time in Ukraine and by all reports Odessa is pretty awesome (even if they do get made fun of by Russians all the time for their apparently very Yiddish influenced Russian). The city was founded by Catherine the Great as a free port (I think the term was 'imperial port') and as a result developed as city vibrant both financially and culturally (loads of Jewish traders, Greeks, Russians, Ukrainians, other soviet/tsarist minorities I can't think of at the moment). The city's financial wealth meant that a lot of pretty buildings were built in the 19th c., and the fact that the city isn't quite as prosperous today means things are pretty cheap. I am also really curious because Russians always say that Brighton Beach in Brooklyn is like Odessa (because it is full of Russian Jews and Odessa used to be ?) and I want to be able to compare. This is sort of my present to myself for having finished my big research paper (on Ukrainian and Georgian politics) so I will be hanging out and being privately tutored in Russian about Ukrainian politics. Did I mention I was extremely excited? Granted it isn't the part of Ukraine where my grandmother's family is from (oh, I'll make it there don't worry), but I am getting away, I am taking a week long Russian vacation, and I get to experience a whole new city.

Improv Team Names

So I remember back in the day going back and forth for days about what Klaritin should be called. Here are the names of two other improv teams I would like to create and be a member of:

Tanya Harding (oh yeah the bad girl of figure skating check out her website)

Abra Kadaver

Keep on Truckin

Running around a lot again today. I wasn't able to sleep much last night and then I had class at 8:30, which saw to it that I was pretty exhausted (I really have doubts about whether or not I will even be able to hold a job, seriously, I can't wake up and when they expect me not only to be awake but to look half-way decent I am screwed). After that I had to finish a Russian essay about the role of Russian in the former Soviet Union (i.e. yes it is widely used, but it is only an official language in a few countries), anyway it was way too short to say anything really important, but at least I got to wrestle with the Russian language a bit. That wrestling, however, made me miss the Russian class before the essay workshop which is all the more awkward because the classes are taught by the same woman. It isn't a big deal, but I always feel so guilty both thinking I have let down the professor and being annoyed myself an hour of Russian. Clearly these are issues we all deal with. Just two more classes left today! We are taking a trip to amnesty international for my human rights class and then I have yet another Russian class. Then I get to write a French composition and try and learn some terms for business Russian tomorrow so the teacher doesn't look at me like I am an idiot. Good times. But I am going on vacation! It will be the first time since Christmas when I will have a break and not be working. I am very happy. More info on where I am off to later today.

The Future!

So I am going to study at Brooklyn Law next year and I am pretty happy about it. I am really excited to be returning to New York (friends, family, improv) and pretty excited to dive into the wonderful world of law after having had a sampling of international law this year. I will admit that I had had my sights set on some more competitive schools, but I am happy with the things have worked out. I have the opportunity to study law at a school that I like more and more the more I learn about it (really good people), to return to the city that is more home to me than anywhere else, and I have the potential to do more international stuff (hopefully to take a year off after the first year of law school to take part in Middlebury's masters in Russian program in Moscow). So to all of you who have listened to my complaining and worrying over the past months I thank you and ask you to enjoy my little success too.

Logic

So if you (and by this I am assuming people read my blog) ever wondered why I have loads more entries at the end of the month than at the beginning it is because I have a deal with myself to write 20 posts a month...and I procrastinate (yes I know there is the one month with 19, but the next one had 21 to make up for it). I am not sure why I decided on twenty, maybe because that is a post for about 2/3 of the days of a month or because I wanted to make sure I had at least two-hundred posts by the end of the year, but I did. The problem is I get busy and then I have two (or less weeks) to post twenty times. That is usually when a lot of the Nichtlustig cartoons start popping up. I don't feel guilty if I don't post more, but I just feel if you have a blog at all you might as well post regularly. Also for me it is a way to keep in touch with friends back home. I don't mean that in so much of my blog being a central summary of my undertakings (there is some of that), but in that I share my observations, what I find funny, what I find insane, in away much like I would would be talking to my friends. And of course my friends get to comment. Sometimes I think my blog should be funnier, or have more a central theme like 'crazy German words!' but the stuff I post is pretty much what I am thinking about, which isn't always funny and fortunately isn't always 'Hey guys! There is this great German word' either. Its a mix and that makes it me.

Holy Crap, Yeltsin died!

Look at him go! Um...have gone.

So this isn't a 'Those Who Left us this Year' both because the year has yet to pass, and because I am not entirely sure how I feel about Yeltsin. In his later years Yeltsin was certainly an embarrassment for many Russians because of his drinking problem and just clear inability to due his job. In terms of his legacy, I have to say I don't care about that. I mean, I certainly understand a people's frustration and embarrassment as a result of their most prominent political figure (Bush anyone?), but in terms of evaluating Yeltsin as a person I am less concerned with what he did (or let others do) later in his life when he was incapacitated, as what he did when when he was in his right mind. What comes to my mind first is his ordering the siege on the Russian parliament (to resolve a standoff between parliament and the president), his giving carte blanche to the leader's of Russia's regions, and his incredibly corrupt privatization of Russia's industries.

The main reason why you have the huge gap between rich and poor in Russia today is because of Yeltsin. He sold off Russia's industries, which were worth quite a bit, to friends for next to nothing provided they would be loyal to him and give him a piece of the pie. He both stole from the state and let others do so with little regard for the effect that would have on the both Russian economy as a whole and on Russians not fortunate enough to be so close to him

In terms of Russia's regions he let undemocratically elected leaders run Russia's regions like private fiefdoms. So many of them spent absolutely nothing on infrastructure, didn't give a damn about the people they were supposed to be serving, and simply used their power to amass their personal wealth. In the Yeltsin years all of that was ok, provided you supported Yeltsin on a national level. If you did that you could do whatever you wanted at home. This is yet another cause of the decay of Russia beyond the few Western islands of Moscow, St. Petersburg, and perhaps Yekaterinenburg.

Finally there was his decision to send in tanks to fire on the Russian parliament. Yeltsin had dissolved parliament and parliament had refused to obey his decree, however, Yeltsin had not had the legal right to dissolve parliament. Granted it was a complicated situation with Russia running under the constitution of the Russian SSR (which was never really meant to be used) and with a parliament left over from Soviet Union, however, at this time there was a real grass roots democratic movement in Russian fighting for a strong parliament and a government that respected their interests, and what did Yeltsin do? He sent tanks in after them. This was the West's democratic hero who fought communism, who was bankrolled by the US. Is is any wonder Russians are so cynical when it comes to democracy?

But as I said, Yeltsin's legacy is a mixed one. He fought for democracy in the the dieing days of the Soviet Union. He stood in front of tanks when Soviet generals staged a coup against Gorbachev. He was a symbol for Russia and fought for both a Russian identity and a break with the communist past, even if his actions often seemed to assume that all change was innately good. He will certainly not be forgotten, but at the same time he is much of the Russia that is so hard for the West to understand. He was charismatic, but erratic, a reformer, but not a liberal, an opportunistic supporter of democracy, but not a democracy. He was a passionate contradiction.

Crazy

Do you know that point when you go from having a good amount to do to having too much to do to even keep track of everything you need to do? Well even if you don't, that is what I am dealing with. I am trying to make sure I can see the Ukrainian Foreign Minister when he comes to speak here on Thursday, make it down to the mandatory Fulbright conference, hopefully organize a language trip to Odessa for next week, get together housing for next year, organize my travels for the rest of the semester (hopefully a return to Istanbul and a return to the UK), and try and swing an internship at the Kazakhstani embassy. See? Way too much stuff. Yes, yes it is all my own fault, but I really do want to do it all, it is just this part that is frustrating. We shall see. Also, I think I may be the frwaky kid here, though, that may be nothing new...

Karl Marx - Hof

On Sunday I made it for another walk around Vienna with my friend Hannah. It wasn't the best walk, but it did let me achieve two of my goals: 1. to go and walk around the Heilegenstadt U-Bahn Stop (Holy City), and 2. to check out the Karl Marx-Hof. There isn't so much out there, but with a name like 'Holy City' you just get curious after a while (especially since here uptown/downtown doesn't make sense so for the U-Bahn they use the last stop on the line to indicate which way the train is going and I just kept seeing it again and again). So sadly Heiligenstadt is not a land of Ivory towers and pure hearted crusaders, but the Karl Marx-Hof is there and it's pretty cool.

Here's another nicer picture of it:

What you are looking at is probably less than a tenth of the entire complex. It was/is a tremendous housing project built after WWI. Back then there was real tension between Vienna and the rest of Austria as Vienna was a center of socialism with the motto of 'socialism in one city' and the rest of Austria was pretty conservative. So there was a lot of tension in Austria and even a short civil war. So the Karl Marx-Hof was one of the socialist projects in Vienna, obviously it provided housing, but if you believe my German teacher it was also meant as a fortress for the anticipated the military conflict. The support for that argument would be that the complex is huge, wit thick walls, and with small windows perfect for snipers. So a mixture of the projects and a battle fortress. I kind've think it looks like some science themed super villian's lair. Also, there was this random statue in the park:

Marx in his boyish pre-bearded glory?

Good Times

I had a really good time at a house party last night. I got to hang out with a Russian who grew up in Siberia and had travelled all around Kazakhstan, a real cool Japanese woman who had come to Vienna to study Akkadian and (old) Middle Eastern history (oriental is still offensive in English right? So I guess I won't say she studies Orientalistik then), and argue with an Austrian going study history in Kyrgyzstan about the official status of Russian in Kazakhstan. Fun, well for me anyway. I also got to hang out with some people from my Russian classes in a social setting which was really cool. I was wearing my DDR t-shirt (no, not 'dance, dance, revolution,' but Deutsche Demokratische Republik, German Democratic Republic in English) which admittedly I don't have any good ideological reasons for wearing, I just thought it was a cool t-shirt, a nice souvenir from Berlin, and with a coat of arms hardly any American would recognize. Well, a girl from my Russian class asked me why I was wearing the t-shirt, and I taking her to be an Austrian said something sarcastic along the lines of me supporting the socialist goals, but meaning 'leave me alone I like the t-shirt.' Anyway, it turned out it was always easier for me to understand her and she seemed generally more cold and North German like because she was German, and from East Germany at that. So we had a pretty good conversation and then I told her about my East German test from my days in Berlin when I wanted to know who was from West Germany and who was from East Germany, but I didn't want the East Germans blowing up in my face (saying and I quote: What does it matter now! We are all Germans now! It shouldn't make a difference). West Germans of course were quite happy to say they were west German, but if I knew in advance who was what I wouldn't need to ask to begin with. So my test was to tell people I spoke some Russia and if they chimed in with "'oh I ha some Russian in school, but I have forgotten a lot of it" I knew they were east German, She was amused. Anyway, good night, good people.

Things Come Together

So it looks like I finally have things worked out for next year. I am coming back to New York! Friends, improv, fun. Very excited. Now I feel like I need to be the one telling people not to move out of the city because I want everybody to be there when I get back. So don't leave. I said don't! yes I know I am coming back, yes I know I'll bring the property values down, but its a big city, we'll share it. Basically I am pretty happy. For whatever reason I don't feel like saying what I'll be doing just yet, but I feel like I am moving forward. I'll be in Moscow this summer and am hoping to line things up to go back there next year, so there is some internationalism in my future, which is important to me, but for the moment I am looking forward to seeing friends again!

Grumble

Too. Much. Going. On. I like Vienna a lot, but I am just not that happy here. I not entirely sure why that is. I think part of what is hard for me is that the program is 'multidisciplinary' and I don't really want to be doing so many different things, I want to be doing one thing: studying the former Soviet Union. Granted how I would want to study the former Soviet Union would also be multidisciplinary (politics, history, and languages), but multidisciplinary studies without a regional focus doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, it just seems to me a like you know a lot about everything and at the same time nothing about anything. What also isn't helping is that the quality of teaching just isn't what I had as an undergrad. I don't know, Columbia definitely has its weaknesses and going their certainly isn't a passage to godhood as many Columbia snobs seem to think, but my professors there really made me think. When I was at Columbia I was forced to analyze, class reading was never more than a starting point, and I was encouraged to go and do political and historical research in areas where little had been done. What I felt I learned was very much a thought process and at the same time how to challenge ideas and be challenged myself. Here, all they want you to do on an exam, written or oral, is repeat what they said in class in words as close to what they said in class as possible. It is wrought memorization with little analysis and little training in the skill future scholars or policy makers would need: thinking informatively and understanding things for yourself. What kills me is that the way things are taught here is justified as it being 'graduate school.' As an undergrad I took a lot of graduate classes, mainly history and political science. Those classes were by far the furthest from what I am getting here. In graduate seminars we would do a lot of reading, but would then challenge the readings challenging them, identifying their weaknesses, or conversely extend their arguments and see how they would apply to other subjects, all in the preparation of our own papers and research. Here there is no challenging, neither of the sources or of professors. Mind you, I don't think everything has to be challenged, but if you have legitimate doubts about an argument you should be able to discuss it, you shouldn't just be expected to memorize it. To be fair, this isn't just the Austrian system: it is the system in much of Europe and probably much of the world. I do, however, think the scholarship in those countries suffers because the academic system essentially discourages independent thought.

Nichtlustig

Santa: This is your design for my new house? Just what sort of an architect are you?
Architect: I DREW IT WITHOUT LIFTING MY PEN!

Memories of a friend

A quote from Central Asia expert Martha Brill Olcott about our departed friend Turkmen President Saparmurat Niyazov:

Boris Shikhmuradov, the former Foreign Minister who is still in jail, has really wonderful material on Niyazov. In a Carnegie speech he described Niyazov as already going kind of nuts. Boris talks about how he was always afraid of going to work on Mondays because when Niyazov had the weekend alone, [Boris] didn’t know what was coming. You had to make sure to get in by early Monday because by Tuesday things could be law if you didn’t talk [Niyazov] out of something...Niyazov was always telling us really dirty jokes. I mean, they were embarrassingly unpleasant. There weren’t punch lines that were obscene, but for example, one of the members of our delegation was a very well-known American, and he was offering this person “a second wife” to take home. His behavior was inappropriate for a state leader. In fact, what many Central Asian leaders used to privately complain about was the inappropriateness of Niyazov’s behavior.

ADD-tastic!

So I don't think I have ADD, but I have tendencies and generally the Internet isn't helping. Lets take for example my amazon recommendation, I don' t think they have ever recommended something I actually wanted, but looking at my amazon recommendations is sort of my way of soul searching as I hope amazon will know me better than I do and tell me what I really need. So far no luck, but I still check. I have looked at the same book about a hundred times, 'St. Petersburg a cultural history,' each time forgetting what it was that made me not want it in the end and each time forgetting that the index it shows you with the 'look inside feature' only shows you the first three chapters. Well this time I found a untranslated French quote. I decided to try my luck at it (I am leaving out the accents because I am lazy): Voila une belle occasion a vos dames de faire bidet. I did pretty well until I came to bidet (there you are a perfect occasion for women to...), so then I looked up bidet in my French-English dictionary and it turned out that bidet in English was bidet at which point I had to go over to wikipedia. I didn't know this thing was a bidet:

Then Wikipedia told me lots of things about bidets I didn't want to know, including this gem: It is said that many American men first encountered bidets in French brothels during WWII and thought they were designed for the prostitutes to douche (inside the vagina) after sexual intercourse, and the more advertisement sounding: Bidets are very useful for the elderly or anyone with mobility problems and for people with hemorrhoids. It is a wonder I don't get more work done. Though just now do I understand why Pushkin said that thing in French: he was making fun of the great St. Peterburg flood and how it created the perfect circumstances for ladies to make bidet. The End.

Wow

This whole emo thing has been a real awakening for me. I know emo people! I always wondered why they dyed their hair a darker shade of black, but now I understand! I have also seen lots of emo posers! It is just like the surfer trend where no one on the east coast was a surfer, but they all wore the clothes. Now everyone pretends to be emo, pretending not to care what other people think of them and not to do what other people are doing, all the while hoping people will think they are cool for not caring what people think of them like everyone else.

Also, I have learned that the sweater vest is out in term of emo fashion. I think this means I could never join.

Emo does still confuse me, however, as it seems to be a composit of trends of my high school years. They [the emos] have the punks' studded belts, but lack the punk zest and anger, they have the goth depression, but lack the general pleasure in death and pain that would make them pleasantly carnivorous rather than sulking vegans. Even worse emos seem to all want to dress like Billie Joe Armstrong of Greenday, who because of Greenday Dookie will always remind me of middle school. Apparently grad school is the new high school.

Also, I am amazed how hot topic has been able to reinvent itself by selling the exact things but now to emo trendies, not to (or just to) punk and goth trendies like back in my day. Hot topic is emo. I've shopped at hot topic!

And now, tickle me emo:

Did I miss the emo generation?

I don't get emo. I mean I really don't get, when did it start, is it like goth light? See, when I went to high school we had the preps, the punks, or the goths, but no emus or whatever the hell they are killed (yes a bad pun, I know). Is an emo a metrosexual who also feels eyeliner fall on the male side of the gender divide? Does emo come in girl? Am I lame for not knowing enough about emo well enough to mock them sufficiently like everyone else? Is everyone is Europe emo since they all wear tight jeans? Are hipsters emo? To you have to be emo to be a hipster? There is an emo Bush so clearly it has to be pretty socially significant. Is emo sponsored by converse? Is it their latest high school kid sponsored trend to keep their shoes selling? Does emo have a monopoly on sad? I would kind've like answers.

Quote on the subject: Emo fashion has changed with time; early trends included haircuts similar to those worn by the Romulans and Vulcans in Star Trek.

And Now an instructional video:

Easter

Vienna is sort of like Easter land. There have been loads of tourists about all day and then the church scene has been a bit like Disney land's its a small world after all ride. Too be sure less racist, but almost every other church had mass in another language: German, Hungarian, Czech, Croatian, Ukrainian, Italian, and many more! They also have Easter markets, which are like the Christmas markets except they are during the day and have Easter themed alcohol instead of Christmas themed alcohol. Sadly today there was a great scene that I didn't have my camera for. In the main Easter market there is a little pen with a bunch of bunnies in it, in that sort of "heah! Its a christian holiday but we've kept all the pagan symbols of fertility like bunnies and eggs" sort of way. Well today when I was walking through the market there was a guy with a huge German Shepard, I mean really big, and I grew up with big Shepard's. Well, I don't know if they Shepard's owner showed him the bunnies or if he found them on his own, but the Shepard found the bunnies and was just staring. The Shepard was completely absorbed. I kind've expected the Shepard to flip and go from staring the trying to fill its mouth with as many bunnies as possible, but he just kept looking. It was pretty cute. I mean, my dogs would have gone for the bunnies. Still it was funny because the bunnies have long pointy ears and Sheppards have long pointy ears, and I sort of just pictured the Shepard hopping into the bunny pen, sitting like a bunny, and hanging out. He didn't though. The End.

Nichtlustig

Doctor: But enough about me, what've you got?

Translator's note: I HAVE THE PLAGUE

The Internet: Making the World a Scarier Smaller Place

So less than twelve hours after putting this picture of the President of Tatarstan (autonomous republic in Russia) up as my facebook profile picture I got a facebook message from a random angry Tatar telling me to take it down. What the hell? He isn't in my network and we don't have any friends in common. Was he combing facebook to see if there are any pictures of random Tatar politicians being misused? Had run a random search seen the picture of the President of Tatarstan, gotten all excited thinking he could be his friend making up for his complete lack of friends in real life and then was crushed when he realized the real President of Tatarstan is not on facebook? Is he maybe just a jerk? Perhaps it was just his love and worship before the copyright alter, we all know how Russia is revered for its strict following of copyright law and how that is not at all the issue keeping them from joining the WTO. Clearly that must have been it. I mean, instead of a picture of himself the guy had a Jackie Chan movie poster for "the Tuxedo" as his profile picture, so clearly he was someone who felt everyone should use actual pictures of themselves, and someone with great taste in films. Jerk. Nobody cared when I did it with Ataturk, you know the founder of modern Turkey on account of whom youtube was shut down in Turkey because some Greeks had put up some videos calling Ataturk a homosexual.

The things is I like the President of Tatarstan. I like Tatarstan. I want to learn Tatar. I wasn't even making fun of the guy. I wanted to wish one of my tatar friends a happy birthday in tatar and though he would appreciate the visage of his president. Okay, so my status for a while was "I don't feel so hot," but I wasn't using it in a sexual sense, the President of Tatarstan is a fine looking man by any measure, but in the sense that I was sick. Come on, the man has a sash, he's awesome! So annoyed.

Maybe if Kazakhstan chills out and Sasha Baron Cohen is bored he should do a film about Tatarstan. They seem to want something to get upset about.

Immigrants, hurrumph

So the dorms here have cleaning ladies that go in your room and clean things (profound, I know). I suppose it is important considering we have showers in our rooms (though not toilets oddly) and I am not so good about cleaning those (read: I don't). None the less, after a few months here I understood why there was a specific provision in the student handbook saying that the school is not responsible for things broken by the cleaning ladies: they break things, kind've a lot of them. Though my personal experience is small compared to others, in a period of two weeks I went from having two drinking glasses in my room to none, also my knife suddenly disappeared (no not into a corpse, I always check when that happens). As I suddenly had no glasses I finally asked the cleaning lady if she knew what had happened (my room is smallish and box like so after several weeks of searching I decided they probably weren't hiding) , she started to freak out and then admitted to having broken one of them and tried to give me a glass she had found somewhere else though. Still don't know what happened to the knife though.

Anyway I was chatting with her today while she was in my room. She was complaining about how when she came to Austria from the Philippines there weren't many immigrants and it was easy to get a visa. That made sense to me, most of Austria was boxed in by the iron curtain/communist Yugoslavia so there wouldn't have been so there wouldn't have been much immigration, legal or otherwise from its neighbors from there. Anyway it was funny to hear her complain how there were too many immigrants now and how things basically weren't as good before in the 80s, partly because the mental image I have of the 80 makes it very hard for everything to better then (mainly leg warmers, snap bracelets, and Richard Simmons), but also because an immigrant complaining about immigrants amused me, though I supposed it is basically the same thing as anyone in the US complaining about immigration. Still though she is right, not about immigrants making things worse here (I have no idea about that), but there are a good amount of immigrants here these days, especially from Slovakia and the former Yugoslavia.

Portrait of a Day

I had to wake up early to let the shy, but toothless window washer into my room. I was not so awake.

I tried to buy a reproduction of an old map of Vienna I liked that had been in a display window. It turned out the store only sold very expensive pipes and they had gotten the map as a gift from a client. They didn't seem to appreciate my attempt to buy it.

A homeless woman selling the homeless magazine here in Vienna waved me on and didn't ask me to buy here paper, as if acknowledging that homeless people and students are pretty much the same thing.

I discovered that not only does Vienna have Christmas markets, it also has Easter markets. Substitute Christmas booze with Easter booze and add real bunnies.

The cleaning lady disappeared with my towels right as I came back from the gym and was ready to shower (i.e. was disgusting).

I found the Russian specialty store here in Vienna. They had the Russian vodka I wanted to buy as a present. The woman at the counter wouldn't speak with me in Russian after I greeted her in German.

I saw an piece of Austrian modern theater with a long monologue read by an Asian woman with a strong accent in an evening gown about eating another woman.

Christmas in March

Rex: Socks?
Santa: And you'll get the antidote for the death virus* next year. Maybe.

*Killervirus is cooler, but I don't think it quite works in English.

Mercy

I know I learn a lot when I write longer papers. This is a fact. All the same whenever I write a longer paper I reach a point where I not only think that everything I have written is complete and utter crap, but that I swear that if I ever finish the paper I will never write anything ever again. I am at that point now. It happened somewhere between writing about President Kuchma in Ukraine and not caring about what Moroz had done for the Orange Revolution.

Hey baby, what's your sign?

So I have never been into the zodiac stuff. Generally when people start going of about it I just decide they are slap-happy hippies and when they try and tell me I do something because of my 'sign' I find it pretty cringtastic. Still in my never ending quest not ot write my paper I found this description of my sign, which actually seems pretty accurate:

Modest and Shy
Meticukous and Reliable
Practical and Diligent
Intelligent and Analytical

On the Dark Side...

Overcritical and Harsh
Fussy and a Worrier
Perfectionist and Conservative

Smoking Kills, it also Sucks

Europeans and their smoking.
I have accepted that having European friends means putting up with smoke.
I have accepted that my clothes will stink and that I will have to wash them.
I have accepted that my hair will stink and I will have to wash it.
I did all of that and I still stunk.
I kept smelling smoke the whole day.
It was my beard that stunk.
I couldn't wash it.
I had to shave it.

Moscow Still Calls but...

So I am pretty random, which leads to random Internet searches. Basically I found out that the OSCE offers a masters in Central Asian Politics taught in Bishkek and on full scholarship. The program is mainly meant for Central Asians (though it taught in English), but also allows limited applications from students from other OSCE countries (the US is one of those). They have had 'westerners' in the program. That being said, I don't know how good the program is. It is tiny there are only about 35 students. I am also not sure how the degree bit works either as it doesn't seem to be accredited by a university even though it is approved by the Kyrgyz Ministry of Education. All of the teachers had Central Asian surnames and they didn't' list where they had studied so it was hard to tell how western-oriented the program would be (though it is the OSCE so it really should be). Still seems cool and it would be a way to hand out in Central Asia for another year.

Moscow Calls

So my brother told me I should go to Moscow, I think I am going to listen.

Basically I have found this year that what I have really enjoyed has been Russia/former Soviet Union related and that I have been trying to relate everything to Russia. Also I am currently taking seven Russian classes and teaching my real classes the like the electives that don't count. I can't really say why but Russian is really important to me. By that I mean both the study of the country (and those of the former Soviet Union, whooo Kazakhstan! Happy New Year to all of my Kazakh readers!) and the language. I really want to speak Russian well in a way that is hard to explain, I get into French when I am speaking it, German I often forget isn't English or that English isn't German depending how confused I am (not a good thing), and Kazakh is sort of a novelty. I am not sure if it is an ethnic/heritage thing, in the states people usually consider me Irish because of my reddish hair, but I can't identify with it much and have never had a connection to Ireland or to Irish culture. I am half Italian, but that is something no one believes. I am part Ukrainian and that is something people can see and that I am proud of. I like it when people tell me I look Russian/Slavic and am likewise proud that I actually speak a Slavic language (one of my proudest moment was perhaps when my native Russian Russian speaker was shocked when I told her I didn't speak Russian at home). So maybe that is why I want to speak Russian well. I just feel like if I don't take a year now and really get good at Russian I never will. I just don't know when I would have the opportunity to do something like that again (seems fairly difficult when you are already working).

So I think I will be applying to Middlebury's masters in Russian program (in Moscow). I like Moscow, though I consider myself more of a St. Petersburg person perhaps because of love the old imperial days, but this is the only American degree program in Russia. It would have me writing a 60 page thesis in Russian and working hard for over a year. At the end I think I would either be sick of Russian or have taken things to a whole new level.

Georgia is being a jerk

I am lazy and as such I am not fixing the post bellow which went all whack one me when I posted it. Also I am mad at Georgia. No not the state, though it is in the south so I may be mad at it too, but the country. Mainly because I have been writing about it for three days now and I came to the point where I need to neatly summarize its constitutional changes and I have found three different sources telling me three different things. I don't want to have to go through the Georgian constitution (if I can find it) and figure it out for myself. I feel like whatever I write will end up not being true so I might as well make it up. I would like making up the Georgian constitution. I would rename the capital Atlanta or something, make English with a southern drawl the official language (it would attract call centers!), and forbid people from Georgia from clarifying while abroad that they were not from the state of Georgia [ironic note: I know a Georgian-American exchange program, almost all of the Georgians were sent to Georgia, you guess which one. That is cruel. It is something I would do]. That is all.

I think I found my masters

Masters in Middle East and Central Asian Security Studies

The Masters Degree in Middle East and Central Asian Security Studies involves a taught component (one core and three optional modules) and a final 15,000-word dissertation. It runs over 12 months commencing in September.

There is a pressing need for analysts who combine mastery of analytical tools with in-depth familiarity with the culture of the geographic area of the Middle East and Central Asia. These regions have become central to contemporary security studies in that they are both the location of substantial world oil reserves and of its most intractable conflicts that have been viewed as generating the threat of international terrorism, clash of civilizations and are proposed to be the object of democratization experiments.

The course builds on the University of St. Andrews’ existing and long-standing research expertise in these regions, and will be taught by internationally recognized scholars who already enjoy an institutional history of collaboration. These scholars are primarily located in the School of International Relations and in association with the Institute of Middle East, Central Asia and Caucasus Studies (MECACS) which is co-sponsored with the School of History. The training program here will offer opportunities for researchers also to be involved in MECACS and in the Centre for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence. Additionally, the course offers the possibility of intensive language tuition.

The program will allow students to combine modules from several different disciplines, or to specialize in one area. Examples of possible optional courses include: Central Asia in Global Politics; Nations, States and Nationalism; Conflict in The Middle East; International Relations of the Modern Middle East; Political Economy of the Modern Middle East; Politics & State Formation in the Middle East; The Political Role of Islam in the Contemporary Arab World; The Promised Lands: Great Britain & the Arabs, 1914-23; Egypt:1798-1970: Imperialism and Nationalism in the Middle East; Modern Arabic Literature : Exile and Identity and Special Topics in Modern Middle East Politics.

Students will also be offered the possibility of language tuition either at the University of St. Andrews (Arabic) or at the intensive language summer school at Indiana University with which it has an agreement (for example beginners’Azeri, Kazakh, Turkmen, Uzbek, Tajik, Pashto,Uyghur, and Georgian).

In the first two semesters as part of your coursework you are required to take FOUR options, of which ONE is compulsory (IR5501) and the other three optional.

• IR5501: Compulsory core module (Semester 1)
• IR5029: Conflict and Peace in Post-Communist Eurasia (Semster 2)
• IR5502: Global and Transnational Islamism (Semester 2)
• IR5510: Central Asia in Global Politics (Semester 2)

I don't understand animal rights activists

Animal rights activists want to kill this polar bear cub in the Berlin Zoo. When he was born his mom rejected him and his brother, his brother died but the zoo keepers were able to save him and keep him and incubator. Since then one of the zoo keepers has slept with him every evening to tend to his every need. Apparently that was cruel. Animal rights activists want Knut (the polar bear cub) put down, because they say life in captivity is cruel. Yes the animal rights activists want to kill the adorable animal. No they don't want to give him a snack or a new ball or even do some sort of hippytastic re-enactment of Free Willy, they want to kill the polar bear cub, who looks really happy, because apparently his soul is barren and empty on the inside for living in captivity. You know, I have some sympathy for animal rights activists when they are like "hey drilling holes in animals heads to see the effects of drilling holes in animals heads is not a good science guy idea!" But when the animal rights activists want healthy animal dead I take issue. Sort of afraid they will try and assassinate him as they are clearly crazy.

American Invasion

It is spring break time and young American college students are out and about in the world. Specifically, in Vienna as in more than I am used to. It has just been interesting since two friends from NYC randomly appeared in Vienna on Friday and then one of the other Fulbrighters has a whole groups of friends from Barnard/Columbia visiting. It is weird suddenly having loads of people around who are from my university/high school/home town. It is also amusing to notice how I have sort of assimilated. Granted I still talk like a German when I speak German and by no means an Austrian, but the guys dressed up like Mozart selling concert tickets don't give me a second look, where all the visiting American get pounced on as if they were holding bird feed and were surrounded by pigeons. Also one visiting friend said I had a German way of speaking in English (i.e. not quite right English). The language bit is weird because granted I do with a lot with languages these days, but I also do a lot English, but I really do have trouble remembering a lot of English words. This has been painfully obvious as I have been writing my research paper and I am searching for a word and I play the game of sounds like, nooo, similar though. I think I knew the word once. It is kind of link not having a mother tongue and struggling in every language. So this is a bit of a down beat entry, but as I plot the course for the coming year and consider going to yet another, albeit fascinating country, I just sort of wonder what it will bring.

What will the Future hold?

I really don't know what I will be/should be doing next year and I need your help. Here are some possibilities:

1. Go and teach English in a French public school for a year. Pros: a year when I am being paid to work on my French. Cons: school sucks, I could be stuck in the French equivalent of Hicksville without a car.

2. Try and get a job in finance in New York. Pros: I might actually have money/an apartment and would be back in NYC. Cons: I would kind of be a major sell out. I would also be doing what my dad wants me to.

3. Apply for the UNESCO internship for former Fulbright scholars in Paris. Pros: It is Paris. Cons: I would probably be doing everything in English so my French probably wouldn't improve that much and it is only for six months (sept.-march).

4. Apply to the Middlebury masters in Russian program. Pros: I would get to improve my Russian Cons: I would have to spend the summer in Vermont and the year in Moscow when all my Russia learning-friends would be in St. Petersburg.

5. Apply for the German Parliamentary Internship Program. Pros: I know Berlin pretty well it sounds pretty coo. Cons: It is from March to July, which leaves the question what I would do before and would keep me from being able to do the Middlebury program the next year if I wanted to.

6. Try and get a job as a paralegal. Pros: Russia! Friends should be in St. Petersburg. Cons: I don't know if I could get one.

7. Be a janitor. Pros: I would have at least one pair of clothes and would never have to worry about fogeting my name. Cons: I would be a janitor.

Seriously though, give me some advice, I am kind of at a loss and feel like crawling into a cave for a year.

Nichtlustig

Skunk Number One: Don't you think the new bath supplement smells wonderful Ulrich?
Dog: Stop calling me 'bath supplement.'
Skunk Number Two: Quiet bath supplement.

Also, I am not girly enough to know the exact translation of 'Badezusatz.'

Slovenia Time

I really liked Slovenia. In many ways Slovenia is Eastern Europe lite, the train station in Ljubljana is brite and new , there were no masses waiting to over charge you for a cab ride from the moment you got off of your train, and everyone spoke English and was pretty friendly, but those aren't the reasons I liked Slovenia so much. I just think that Slovenia and Slovenians are really intriguing. First of all there is the national history, i.e. being conquered by everyone and pretty much no one letting them use their own language. They were part of the Roman Empire, Venice, Carenthia, Austria-Hungary, and Yugoslavia, but they pretty much all (I don't know about the Roman Empire of Venice so much) tried to assimilate the Slovenes. Ljubljana is probably one of the few placed outside of France to still have a monument to Napoleon, who was the first one to let the Slovenians use Slovene in school. A lot of Slovenian history seems to be an underdog story and I respect that.

I also just find the Slovenian identity extremely interesting. I just found myself wondering what differentiates Slovenians from Italians, Austrians, or Croatians? Not the relgion, they are all catholic, not the landscape (Slovenian is a mixture of Austria's mountains, Croatia beaches and Italy's historic Venetian towns). It seemed to me that what was really Slovenian was the mixture of all of the different cultures. Even going into the Slovenian restaurant in Ljubljana I was struck by how all the typical Slovenian dishes I had been recommended by Slovenian friends were only side dishes, and all of the entrees were standard Austro-Hungarian fare. I don't know how representative it was but is seemed to say a lot about the culture and made me start to think that what was Slovenian was maybe the mixture of all the influences in Slovenia.

Ljubljana, Slovenia's capital, also really impressed me. The historic city center looks pretty much any medium sized Austrians city (Americans read: small), but Ljubljana is much more dynamic. Austrian cities are almost pretty and well kept, but especially the smaller ones lack any sort of a youth culture, to the point where they are nice to visit during the day, but God help you if you are stuck there at night (not true of Vienna to be sure). They are the equivalent of an old person's house, everything is pretty and in order, but the plastic cover sure as hell isn't going to come off the couch. In Ljubljana you got the feeling there were a lot of young people, there was interesting graffiti, and just the feeling that something was going on. It was nice to have the plastic off.

Happy International Women's Day!

I hope you all gave your Russian teacher flowers today just like I did.
An odd number, unless you are trying to give them a subtle hint that you want them dead.

In other news:
It has been a long week.
As of tomorrow I am Slovenia bound.
Wish me luck.

My very Random Day

I had a very long day. Here are some "highlights":

Discussing in German class how Austrian states are happy to pay women to stay at home with their kids, but don't want to make enough daycare available for them to be able to work.

Having international law where the professor is amazingly good about listening to my question, sounding like he is going to address it and then moving on without any apology, transition, or excuse.

Being the only American in the class who the professor doesn't know by name. He calls the the other two by name. It is always those two by name and then "the other Americans in the class." I am the other Americans. I am not plural.

Listening for a song for the hundredth time on my ipod that sounds like "Buddy Holly" by Weezer.

Russian classes at the university. Having the professor speak extremely slowly, articulate every syllable and then there being students saying they couldn't understand a word she said.

Having an old Austrian women who worked for an airline in the Caucuses insist on peaking to me in English even though we had spoken entirely in German the day before and are both trying to learn Russian.

Introducing myself to random people I have had way too many Russian classes with in the past few days.

Listening to a lecture by a Russian historian hero of mine. Having him sign his book for me. Arranging to meet with him for a coffee.

Russian at the Russian cultural institute. The director for some reason had randomly decided he likes me. Like a lot. Like if he wasn't a married old Russia man I would think he was coming on to me. He used to try and scare me away. Apparently I randomly became interesting at some point.

Watching over an hour long graphic film in Russian about Chechen terrorism. I have no idea why my teacher showed this to us. It lasted the whole class. A lot of people died. I didn't understand a lot of it. She didn't bother to stop the video to explain any of it. I have no idea why we watched it. Apparently she showed another part of it last week, today only about half of the class was there.

Planning a weekend trip with a Fulbright friend (i.e. being completely exhausted and being prepared to go anywhere suggested at any time suggested).

Downloading "Buddy Holly" by Weezer.

Taking a nap.

Updating my blog.

Procrastinating doing the work for French I am way too tired to do.

Zommunists of the World Unite!

I cannot tell you how long I have wanted a Zommunist graphic of my own, not only because I think Zommunism is an awesome political affiliation whose ranks grow larger each year (all those Eastern European communist are getting any younger people), but also because I think the mixed zombie/communist imagery is pretty awesome. So thanks to my good friend Antonella I now not only have an awesome letter, but this awesome Zommunist graphic. All hail Nella!

Nichtlustig