Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Prince Philip, My Hero

Prince Philip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth, has a habit of saying offensive things at public events (usually about the ethnic group/nationality the event is for). Eddie Izzard said that he has habit saying things like [insert stodgy British accent] "you are all a bunch of bastard." An itemized list stolen from wikipedia is actually quite a bit of (offensive) fun:
  • Speaking to a driving instructor in Scotland, he asked: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
  • When visiting China in 1986, he told a group of British students, "If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed".
  • After accepting a gift from a Kenyan citizen he replied, "You are a woman, aren't you?"
  • "If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)
  • In 1966 he remarked that "British women can't cook."
  • To a British student in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
  • Angering local residents in Lockerbie when on a visit to the town in 1993, the Prince said to a man who lived in a road where eleven people had been killed by wreckage from the Pan Am jumbo jet: "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle."
  • On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, he told a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
  • He asked an Indigenous Australian, "Still throwing spears?" (2002)
  • Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary, "You can't have been here that long – you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)
  • Seeing a shoddily installed fuse box in a high-tech Edinburgh factory, HRH remarked that it looked "like it was put in by an Indian".
  • During a Royal visit to China in 1986 he described Beijing as "ghastly".
  • "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)
  • At the height of the recession in 1981 he said: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
  • Upon presenting a Duke of Edinburgh Award to a student, when informed that the young man was going to help out in Romania for six months, he asked if the student was going to help the Romanian orphans; upon being informed he was not, it was claimed the 85-year-old duke added: "Ah good, there's so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages."
  • At the University of Salford, he told a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut: "You could do with losing a bit of weight."
  • In 1997, the Duke of Edinburgh, participating in an already controversial British visit to the Jallianwala Bagh massacre (Amritsar Massacre) Monument, provoked outrage in India and in the UK with an offhand comment. Having observed a plaque claiming 2,000 casualties, Prince Philip observed, "That's not right. The number is less."
  • During a Royal visit to a Tamil Hindu temple in London , he asked a Hindu priest if he was related to the terrorist Tamil Tigers.
  • He once attributed a badly finished carpentry job to one having been done by an Indian.
  • In 1988 he said that "In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
  • In 1996 he drew sharp criticism when he said a gun was no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman. The comment came in the wake of the massacre of 16 children and their teacher by a gun-toting psychopath in Dunblane, Scotland.
At this point I think he must be trying, planing his next offensive remark. Oh yes, but to top it all of, he is worshipped as a god in the South Pacific.

6 comments:

Thiess said...

How can we not just absolutely love Prince Philip?

...I mean, unless he's an embarrassment for your nation...

Barbarossa said...

But he is just so much more fun than Bush!

Nella said...

*pout*

I wish he were MY national embarrassment. Bush comes with the added embarrassment of 1) having been elected, 2) having been elected TWICE, and 3) of having ACTUAL power, instead of just being the hubby of the figurehead.

It's funny, but spending this week in Boston, I've been pondering upon the Founders and think, "my god, if they could only see us know...they might have decided it wasn't worth the bother".

Barbarossa said...

1. I think Prince Philip amuses me because although he may be racist, he is not stupid (he seems keenly aware of whatever ethnic group he is visiting and what would be the worst thing he could say to them, though he may just be given a list of things not to say and decide those are a good starting point).

2. We threw off the British yolk before it was cool.

Edward Rueda said...

Prince Philip came up with the line about the Cantonese? He is an evil genius!

I had a friend who had visited Shanghai try to pass off that joke as a folk saying.

Edward Rueda said...

And the killer virus line is also priceless. Say it in a posh British accent, and doesn't it make you orgasm?