Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Flirting with Destiny

I love travel books. I like ones about other places, but especially like ones that prepare people for going to the US and tell them what crazy things they can expect Americans to do (I like to live up to expectations). Lately I've been looking at a lot of "German-American" dictionaries (in Germany and Austria people are fond of calling American English "American"), the one above was something of a mix between a travel guide and a bilingual dictionary with section specific vocabulary. The section above (click to enlarge) is the "flirt" entry.

Here are some selections from the entry, notice how they tell a story...of a date gone horribly wrong:

You have beautiful eyes [okay in the bar, bad pick up line whatever]

Do you have a steady boyfriend/girlfriend? [a few lines of small talk in, starting to get somewhere]

I'd like to sleep with you [um...presumably before sex commences]

And then things in the entry start to go wrong

I'd rather just cuddle [i.e. calm down freakazoid]

Hand Off ! [yeah...]

Get out of here! [things didn't go so well]

Please leave me alone [tears]

I wouldn't say this entry amused me, but it was a bit odd how it kind of tells a horrible horrible story, gave translations of lines you wouldn't really have time to find the book for [i.e. Hands Off!], and really envisions the worst possible outcome of the evening. Doesn't it make you want to go to sex crazed won't take no for an answer America? Yeah travel!


Nella said...

Hrum, are those so the travel will be able to speak them to rape-tastic english speakers, or so that they can learn what the hell those phrases mean? 'Cause seriously, "Hands off!" seems to be ONE of those phrases that men in Italy never QUITE learned the translation of.

Barbarossa said...

I hadn't though of that one. Granted it would make more sense to if the chapter would be for those sex-crazy wishing to violate our virginal puritan shores who need to know what phrases to lsten for and then promptly ignore.